Growing up in the area that I live in, seeing people leave everything behind seemed of somewhat normalcy, when in reality, to anyone else in the world, it is actually really, really weird. Like, what the? What kind of religion sends their teenagers during the prime of their life to far off places pledging to devote their best years in service to their religious beliefs? It took up until recently when friends that tended to seem closer than family started leaving to recognize the emotion that takes place at that final goodbye. To me, the sacrifice of a mission was finally real.
It is no wonder that people struggle with the decision to go on a mission. It. Is. Scary. An unknown place, a different people, an obscure culture... and no cooking or step-by-step advice from Mom; saying hello to the unknown-- it is a huge choice to get the courage to say "Ok Heavenly Father, I am completely reliant on you for the next couple of years (or in my case, 18 months), so tell me what to do!". Although coming to terms with the amount of humility that this requires is seen as one of the hardest things a teenager is asked to do, it is often said as the most rewarding. Not experiencing this yet myself, I have been able to watch it transform my brother and best friends as they tell me themselves what a difficult, but rewarding thing this is. Now, it might just be me, but hearing the quote "It was the hardest, but best years of my life!" over and over and over again grew old within the first 50 uses, but from what I have heard, that is the only way to describe it. I told Sister Durrans to tell me the truth, the whole truth and nothing, but the truth about her mission experience and she explained what that saying really meant to her. (Wubz I hope you don't kill me for sharing this, but you ain't here. #LOLZ) This was what she told me in her first email, "Chels this is really hard. No kidding. Its hard to be in provo, and to know that your house is right there. Especially after you teach a lesson and you know you just talked circles with your companion and confused your investigator beyond belief. But Cheeks. Its worth it. Not kidding this is the best thing I have ever experienced. Chelsea I feel happy. It is so amazing to talk to people on a spiritual level and honestly I wouldn't give it up for anything!"
I guess you don't fully understand until it happens on a personal level to you, whether yourself or through someone you spent 24/7 with. In that first email I knew that everything I had heard about serving a mission was true: it was hard, but worth it.
After hearing this, my fear dulled, it never left, but dulled as I recognized that not only am I going to be in good hands, but those across the world that I have had to say goodbye to are too. As Whit said, "I think it's harder to be left than to actually leave." Well gee, thanks give me the hard job. It really does seem true, I mean if you think about it, they get to be in as close to a godly state as possible while on Earth and we are stuck back home worrying and wondering what's going on. The tears shed at departure, at least in my case, are slightly selfish. I worry about how the lack of their presence will affect me, who will I turn to for my needs? Who will I rant to about the latest drama? Or upon the return, will we be the same as when you left? Will we be as close?
The answers to this may vary, but one thing is for sure. Missions will change a person for the better. They will come across their biggest weaknesses and strengths and find for themselves who they really are and if real friends before, there is no reason for it not to be the same after 18 months.
My favorite scripture that I have shared about a billion times (or twice, but who's counting) is in Alma 17:13 "... they separated themselves and departed one from another, trusting in the Lord that they should meet again at the close of their harvest; for they supposed that great was the work which they had undertaken." Great is this work that I am about to undertake and multiple friends have already begun. I can't wait to meet back together and talk endlessly about our different stories and the amazing things that we witness while in the field.
xoxo,
Chels
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